Learning to Love Sweat

Since getting back from Europe I'm back to the gym, and am struggling to again make it part of my routine.

In a particularly warm and hard yoga class yesterday I realized how much my first reaction to sweating is that it's bad and should stop. That I'm doing something wrong.

I think this must have something to do with my particularly un-athletic upbringing, and the fact that I really didn't sweat much in my life, and when I maybe did it was embarrassing, like in gym class when everything was embarrassing because I was this scronny kid that couldn't do anything right.

I've gotten to the point several times in my life where I've worked out regularly. I think that Cheerleading in high school helped with this, our coach was an aerobics teacher and kicked our butts, which I think was the first time for me. But then I spent my early 20s only breaking a sweat in the occasional dance class or on the dance floor.

Now, as a person who aknowledges the need to work out, for my health, strength, and vanity--every time I come back from a break of doing it, I have to re-remember that endorphins are great and only come after some strenuous work. And that sweating isn't a bad thing, it's cleansing, it means you're doing good work.

But each time I take a little convincing.

From the London Times...

From Times Online

June 19, 2009

The 15 golden rules of theatre etiquette

The play's the thing - so shhh. Our chief theatre critic explains what to do with your sweets, crisps and mobile phones

No talking during the performance: PLEASE!

Benedict Nightingale

1 Don’t just switch off your mobile in response to what’s very likely a cute invitation from some fake-friendly voice. Make sure it’s off before you enter the theatre, thus making sure that you’re not publicly humiliated by Richard Griffiths or A.N. Other.

2 Never whisper, let alone talk, during the performance. If you’re hard of hearing, hire a loop rather than bother your companion for info about the plot. And don’t hum along with songs, even if they’re by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

3 Don’t bring picnics. In fact, don’t eat anything, not even your fingernails, even if the play is, well, nail-biting. If you must buy an ice cream in the interval, make sure you finish it and dispose of the carton before the restart. The scraping at remnants sounds like scratching on a wall.

4 If you fear that you’ll cough, bring a handkerchief to smother your mouth and pastilles to put in it. Considerate theatregoers would rather asphyxiate than interrupt a good actor.

Related Links

• Are theatregoers becoming more disruptive?

5 Always apologise if someone is forced to stand as you make your way to your seat, but if you are late (and you should never be) reduce your apology to a quick, sorrowful nod.

6 Don’t clap actors’s entrances, even if they’re famous, or their exits, even if they make them in the swaggering style that half-invites applause. All this is dated and naff and makes you look like a celeb-hungry prat.

7 Have nothing to do with standing ovations unless a performance is close to a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In America such ovations have become meaningless and, if they don’t occur, they indicate disapproval. We don’t want them to become regular here.

8 If a friend is on stage in a comedy or farce, or has written one, don’t pile on the laughter. The artificiality is usually transparent enough to make failure more and not less likely.

9 If you must go to that often obnoxious, spuriously glitzy occasion, the first night, don’t ponce about pretending to be an important guest, even if you are one. Think of your fellow audience members and the actors, both of whom want to get on with the show. And that show isn’t about you.

10 No need to dress up, let alone wear dinner jackets and evening gowns, as was once the case. But try to be a little better dressed than the critics, who often look as they’ve been grabbed from a washing machine that hasn’t yet been turned on.

11 If you see a sleeping critic don’t necessarily wake him or her up, as guilt is likely to ensure that his or her review is more favourable than it might otherwise be. But don’t let him sleep too deeply or he may (and this has happened) crash into or across an aisle, causing injury to the innocent. And snoring is unacceptable, whoever does it and however awful the show.

12 If critics irk you by scratching notes on a pad, be forgiving. They’re only doing their jobs. And virtually all critics accept that lighted pens, once common, are now verboten. If you see a critic turn one on, whisper something tactfully germane, like “you blind sod, switch it off”.

13 If the child you’re bringing is chatty, gag it. If it’s fidgety, handcuff and shackle it. And if you’re altruistic enough to bring a school party to a Shakespeare matinée, threaten potential wrongdoers with tickets to the next revival of Timon of Athens, to be followed by a ten-page essay on the ethics of Apemantus.

14 Try your hardest not to be tall, which means shunning headgear and primped-up hair. And if you can’t help your height, ask for a seat on the aisle or somewhere where you won’t interfere with people’s sightlines.

15 If you are maddened by a fellow member of the audience, postpone a serious or violent encounter until a suitable pause in the action, preferably the interval. But usually a schoolmarmy stare and an English sniff, followed by a reproachful smile, will suffice.

Sometimes your lap is your best table.

a freewright started by time out's "heard on the street"

Sometimes your lap is your best table.
And sometimes your hands are your best tools
And sometimes your legs are your best tripod
And sometimes your back is your best bed.
Sometimes your hips are your best shelf.

Lift with your legs, not with your back.
Take care of your body.
Stand up straight, don’t slouch.
Eat right.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Walk for 30 minutes 3 times a week.
Walk 4,000 steps a day.
Make sure you engage in aerobic activity.
Eat only organic foods.
Grease is bad for you.
Keep simple carbohydrates to a minimum.
Be sure you drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Avoid the boogeyman.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Carry a backpack, not a shoulder bag.
Brush and floss, brush and floss.
Take a chill pill
Your body is a wonderland.
You are the light of the world.
My spleen. I love my spleen.
What does the gall bladder do anyway?
If I don’t need it, why do I have it?
What color is your poo?
My mind is a battlefield.
You need to pick your favorite color.
Everyone has a favorite.
What kind of mascara do you wear?
You do wear makeup don’t you?
Two coats and a top coat.
It's time to shave your legs.
You used to be so skinny.
When did you get those?
UV rays are bad for you.
Gluten free.
No antibiotics.
Pushups every morning.
Yoga is life changing.
Give yourself a hug.
French fries are comforting.
I don’t want to have long hair anymore, that’s why.
How long can you stay in the shower?
When is it my turn to be perfect?

I don’t know when or how this happened.
I used to love my lap.

I haven't blogged in 5,000 years

Or so it seems. But I'm looking for a more direct purpose for the blog. I mean, if one is to have a blog, one must have a good reason for it, and just to muse occasionally doesn't seem to give me a good enough reason to make the time. BUT. I'm finding reasons. Among the things I'm contemplating is making one of those 101 things in 1001 days lists. I'm intrigued by the idea of setting goals and making lists. Recently I've been thinking about habits, how we develop them and if I can be more conscious about mine in order to live a better life. There are suggestions to make small changes, and do that thing every day for 30 days. I've recently done that with some simple routine things, and it's been quite effective. The next thing you know, it's just something you do, it's a habit. Like flossing, for instance. I was terrible about sometimes flossing sometimes not, and then I decided that I would do it every night for 30 days, and now it's just something I do every night, and it's not a big deal or something I even have to think about anymore. And I'm better for it. Well the same must go for things like attitude and our actions with our loved ones. There are certainly some habits I have that I long to get out of.

Of course, the 101 things in 1001 days is different. I've been thinking about what to put on my list, because the first step is to make a list of 101 things that I actually find compelling enough to put on it. The downside is that I'm already so busy that I wonder if this will just put additional pressure on me. So some of the things must be purely fun, they all have to be things I really want to do, and because there's so many in 1001 days they have to be achievable, but not so simple. Right? Some should be habit changing things, some should be small, some should be major goals. Maybe I won't achieve all of them and I'd need to accept that. So if I make a list I love then I'll come back to this with that list.

One of the things I'm contemplating putting on this list is reading all of the novels on the Modern Library's top 100 Novel's list. Most of them I've not read, so I'm a couple down but not so many. Many of these I've never heard of. Some I read in high school and should probably re-read (Like The Great Gatsby), because I'd get them more now. But if they're supposedly the best, I should read them. Here's the list. It's about 10 years old now, but that seems okay.

1	ULYSSES	James Joyce
2	THE GREAT GATSBY	F. Scott Fitzgerald
3	A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN	James Joyce
4	LOLITA	Vladimir Nabokov
5	BRAVE NEW WORLD	Aldous Huxley
6	THE SOUND AND THE FURY	William Faulkner
7	CATCH-22	Joseph Heller
8	DARKNESS AT NOON	Arthur Koestler
9	SONS AND LOVERS	D.H. Lawrence
10	THE GRAPES OF WRATH	John Steinbeck
11	UNDER THE VOLCANO	Malcolm Lowry
12	THE WAY OF ALL FLESH	Samuel Butler
13	1984	George Orwell
14	I CLAUDIUS	Robert Graves
15	TO THE LIGHTHOUSE	Virginia Woolf
16	AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY	Theodore Dreiser
17	THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER	Carson McCullers
18	SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE	Kurt Vonnegut
19	INVISIBLE MAN	Ralph Ellison
20	NATIVE SON	Richard Wright
21	HENDERSON THE RAIN KING	Saul Bellow
22	APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA	John O'Hara
23	U.S.A.	John Dos Passos
24	WINESBURG, OHIO	Sherwood Anderson
25	A PASSAGE TO INDIA	E.M. Forster
26	THE WINGS OF THE DOVE	Henry James
27	THE AMBASSADORS	Henry James
28	TENDER IS THE NIGHT	F. Scott Fitzgerald
29	THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY	James T. Farrell
30	THE GOOD SOLDIER	Ford Madox Ford
31	ANIMAL FARM	George Orwell
32	THE GOLDEN BOWL	Henry James
33	SISTER CARRIE	Theodore Dreiser
34	A HANDFUL OF DUST	Evelyn Waugh
35	AS I LAY DYING	William Faulkner
36	ALL THE KING'S MEN	Robert Penn Warren
37	THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY	Thornton Wilder
38	HOWARDS END	E.M. Forster
39	GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN	James Baldwin
40	THE HEART OF THE MATTER	Graham Greene
41	LORD OF THE FLIES	William Golding
42	DELIVERANCE	James Dickey
43	A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME	Anthony Powell
44	POINT COUNTER POINT	Aldous Huxley
45	THE SUN ALSO RISES	Ernest Hemingway
46	THE SECRET AGENT	Joseph Conrad
47	NOSTROMO	Joseph Conrad
48	THE RAINBOW	D.H. Lawrence
49	WOMEN IN LOVE	D.H. Lawrence
50	TROPIC OF CANCER	Henry Miller
51	THE NAKED AND THE DEAD	Norman Mailer
52	PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT	Philip Roth
53	PALE FIRE	Vladimir Nabokov
54	LIGHT IN AUGUST	William Faulkner
55	ON THE ROAD	Jack Kerouac
56	THE MALTESE FALCON	Dashiell Hammett
57	PARADE'S END	Ford Madox Ford
58	THE AGE OF INNOCENCE	Edith Wharton
59	ZULEIKA DOBSON	Max Beerbohm
60	THE MOVIEGOER	Walker Percy
61	DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP	Willa Cather
62	FROM HERE TO ETERNITY	James Jones
63	THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES	John Cheever
64	THE CATCHER IN THE RYE	J.D. Salinger
65	A CLOCKWORK ORANGE	Anthony Burgess
66	OF HUMAN BONDAGE	W. Somerset Maugham
67	HEART OF DARKNESS	Joseph Conrad
68	MAIN STREET	Sinclair Lewis
69	THE HOUSE OF MIRTH	Edith Wharton
70	THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET	Lawrence Durell
71	A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA	Richard Hughes
72	A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS	V.S. Naipaul
73	THE DAY OF THE LOCUST	Nathanael West
74	A FAREWELL TO ARMS	Ernest Hemingway
75	SCOOP	Evelyn Waugh
76	THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE	Muriel Spark
77	FINNEGANS WAKE	James Joyce
78	KIM	Rudyard Kipling
79	A ROOM WITH A VIEW	E.M. Forster
80	BRIDESHEAD REVISITED	Evelyn Waugh
81	THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH	Saul Bellow
82	ANGLE OF REPOSE	Wallace Stegner
83	A BEND IN THE RIVER	V.S. Naipaul
84	THE DEATH OF THE HEART	Elizabeth Bowen
85	LORD JIM	Joseph Conrad
86	RAGTIME	E.L. Doctorow
87	THE OLD WIVES' TALE	Arnold Bennett
88	THE CALL OF THE WILD	Jack London
89	LOVING	Henry Green
90	MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN	Salman Rushdie
91	TOBACCO ROAD	Erskine Caldwell
92	IRONWEED	William Kennedy
93	THE MAGUS	John Fowles
94	WIDE SARGASSO SEA	Jean Rhys
95	UNDER THE NET	Iris Murdoch
96	SOPHIE'S CHOICE	William Styron
97	THE SHELTERING SKY	Paul Bowles
98	THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE	James M. Cain
99	THE GINGER MAN	J.P. Donleavy
100	THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS	Booth Tarkington

about my job and my life.

one of the best things about being a teacher, i'm noticing, is that as the winter break approaches i'm getting so excited. it's actually restored some of my interest in the holidays, which are not my favorite thing in the world.

but because i only have one week left of school, and my students are getting so excited and ansy, i am too. we'll end the semester. i'll put in grades. i don't go back until january 26th. crazy!! and then i'll have new students, a new class, a new chance to be a better teacher. how cool is that?

i'm pretty sure that one of the many reasons i ended up in theater is a fear of having to do one thing that never ends for the rest of my life. i love it when plays open and close. i love first rehearsals. i love the milestones that we get to relive over and over. i can't imagine not having that. i can't imagine not having the excuses to celebrate our achievements over and over. i feel like if i were to do something else it would all become a big blur.

many people say as they get older time seems to go faster and faster. i haven't noticed this yet entirely. in retrospect maybe, but with the multitude of different things i do in a year, my year feels really long.

case in point: last year this week i was in tech for the Drama League Directorfest. It would be opening next weekend. Actually, on the Sunday before I went to New Haven for an interview to direct something at Yale, and there was this terrible winter storm that covered New Haven in ice, and I was late and flustered and interveiwed TERRIBLY. And then I had to wait for a train that was late, but I met my roomate, Sasha at Grand Central Station and we went home together because she was returning from a really weird date. Ha.

That was a year ago. So many things have happened this year, both good and bad. It's been a really hard year in lots of ways, a lot of roller-coaster shiznit. I returned from NYC, then went to CO for christmas (as I am this year), I directed Faster at the side project and associate directed American Dream Songbook at the same time (bad idea), while I substitute taught David Cromer's direcitng class. I worked at Chicago Opera Theater, after doing some temping. I directed lots of little things, readings, sketchbook. I went to NYC for the Lincoln Center Dir Lab. I was back for three weeks then went to Michigan to direct an opera, then I've had this crazy fall.

Why would anyone do anything else? Wouldn't life be boring? I'm not trying to offend anyone who has chosen different paths. I guess it just wouldn't be me. I recognize the things I've traded. Stability being one. Availability to "settle down", hang out with friends more, have a family, all of that. But my year has been very exciting. "May you live in exciting times" Isn't that a Chinese curse?

Anyway, School's almost out for winter break. That's my point. Maybe the holidays aren't so bad.

More awesome Music Videos...

Michele Gondry is my favorite. This is his video for The White Stripes "The Hardest Button to Button". It's so smart, he works with music so well. And it's just fun to watch and contemplate. How many of each insturment did they have use to make this?

stasis and palindromes

I think there's a point where you're actually doing so much that you reach some sort of stasis.

Now go with me here, it seems to be along the same line of thinking that tells us that if you're spinning fast enough it's like standing still. Is that even true or am I making that up?

Looking back on this fall, I think I've accomplished a lot, I've directed several things that I can feel good about, and learned from them, and blah blah blah.

But at some point as a human being a stasis set in. Like my body shut down due to constant activity, and started protecting itself like an armadillo rolled into a little ball. And I wasn't well, I haven't been totally well for some time. My stress seems to land in my stomach, and I've been getting regular acupuncture treatments to get my qi moving again. But stasis and stagnation came up a lot in my treatments over the fall, and I wonder if doing too much caused my body to stop doing anything?

I'm only seeing this fully in retrospect, as a little bit of air has opened up in my life, I feel this amazing freedom. I actually felt overjoyed and grateful that I didn't have anything I absolutely had to do when I got home from rehearsal last night. I sat and read a book for fun for an hour and then went to bed. But only after I really thought "what do I want to do right now?" An hour. Ha.

Classes end next week and then don't start again until January 26th. It's nice to think of the space that will open up in my life for a while. To sort things out. To contemplate. To organize. To recharge.

I know this is the constant theme of my blog right now, but it's the thing I'm contemplating most in my life, which is to say: how I want to live it. Sometimes I think I spend too much time saying "well this is what I'm doing right now and so that later..." but if one spends their entire life like that, a life of self-torture in hopes of something else happening is all you get. Not that directing too many plays and being too busy is even a terrible torture. I am very grateful to have been so busy doing such amazing projects, I guess I've just learned my limitations as a human being, and that's important. I don't like to admit I even have them, which may be why I got myself in this mess.

Someday soon I'll shut up about this. I mean, the holidays are coming, I have an entire new list of things to be stressed out about. Ha.

On a lighter note, I found myself contemplating palindromes yesterday. There are so many different versions of the idea, and people have been creating and contemplating them since the Greeks. I love it, because it seems so useless, and creates sentences that are absolutely insane. Some palindromes are numbers, some are just word by word in sentences, there are even musical palindromes of sorts "crab cannons" where one melody is the reverse of the other. People get really into this stuff. And yet, it seems somewhat absurd.
Some of my favorite things I learned on wikipedia were the ones in foreign languages:
Icelandic: "Amma sá afa káfa af ákafa á Samma" ("Grandma saw grandpa touching Sammi intensively")
Estonian: "Aias sadas saia" (It was raining white bread in the garden)
Italian: "I topi non avevano nipoti" (The mice had no grandchildren).

Of course our own are absurd too:

Never Odd or even
If i had a hi-fi
Madam im Adam
No Lemons no melon
Rise to vote sir
do geese see god
race fast safe car
ma is as selfless as i am
Ah, satan sees natasha
no devil lived on
A Toyota's a Toyota
A dog a panic in a pagoda
was it a car or a cat i saw
Nurse i spy gypsies run
now is see bees i won
ufo tofu
god a red nugget a fat egg under a dog
no Mel Gibson is a casino's big lemon
war, sir, is raw
no, sir, away! a papaya war is on!